An Accomplishment

Credit: Carolyn Cochrane via her Etsy shop

This week I had the opportunity to conquer something that has given me some anxiety. While it is not a big deal to some, it was and has been to me.

On Tuesday afternoon, my boyfriend had an appointment at a hospital on the other side of the city. Since he was also getting lab work done he had to fast for 12 hours. When I met him at work he said he was feeling okay but not great and we decided that it would be best if I drove. I had known this was potentially going to happen so I had been mentally preparing myself (and yes worrying haha).

I will say I was quite nervous, to the point of feeling like my mouth was full of cotton and I had a multitude butterflies in my tummy. I had no choice though. I knew I had to do get over some of these fears/anxieties:

-- fear of driving on big freeways/merging/lane changing
-- fear of driving with a male other than my father (years ago I drove with a critical male and I absolutely  hated it)
-- not only did I have to drive to these appointments but had to sit through them as well. So also my anxiety of hospitals/medical stuff had to be challenged as well.

Yeah silly sounding I am sure, but these things have weighed me down. We all have weaknesses, right?

In regards to driving, Brian was an excellent passenger and was calming (as he is for me in general). He was able to direct me how to do each part. I also tried my best to think about it like subbing "one chunk at a time." Luckily, I was familiar with the freeways from our trips this summer (all but one) but just had not done them myself before. The traffic wasn't too bad either on both ways so that greatly helped me to breathe a little bit. I was so relieved to get to the hospital and then to get back on our side of town!

His appointments weren't too bad either thankfully and I was able to manage fine. Brian really appreciated me being there for him and so I am glad I was able to give him some peace.

As for the whole experience, I was able to get through my anxieties and found that the driving wasn't so bad after all. I felt so relieved after it was over with -- now, I feel more confident. It's great to be able to tell myself that I can do things that I feel are difficult and am capable of overcoming. This year has really been teaching me how to break through the limits I have placed on myself.

Along with all of this I feel even closer to Brian. He has been very good for me and to me. Ever since we got together he has pushed me outside of my comfort zone (in healthy ways - we are fairly like minded individuals). He's helped me to grow in positive ways. I'm stronger because of him - not because I haven't been on my own but he has made me better. I'm so blessed and honored to be with him and cherish each day we're together.

It's been a good week so far. Hope all of you are getting stronger too by one step at a time or chunk. However you prefer. ;-)

Slowly Coming Back

This has been probably the longest blog breaks I have had in awhile. Unintentional, yes. Ever since the middle of last month until now life has been way up and way down. I have been pretty stressed out, tired and lacking much interest in being on my computer. I feel like I am starting to get things back in order ever so slowly and my desire to blog is resurfacing.

First step today -- checking in with my naturopath. My doctor is wonderful! She looks at an individual holistically and gives good direct advice. The main issue we are working on is my anxiety. It has been something I have struggled with for years -- sometimes it isn't very present and other times it is absolutely miserable. Currently, it is manageable (okay 85% -ish of the time). Anyhow, I asked her about teas that may help to relax me and she gave me a list of herbs to get at an herbal medicine store. I didn't venture over to it this afternoon though (will do it another day). Instead, I went to New Seasons and found some Yogi Tea that might do the trick until I go to the other place.

Mmmm mmmm... I love tea. I think this will help me quite a bit. I enjoy breathing in deeply and smelling all of the delicious herbs. Even better -- taking a sip and savoring it... mmm which herb do I taste now? Tea is such a good way to activate the senses :)

So with that said, I will be back with posts in the near future. I am trying to get organized and get back to me. I plan on doing some catch up -- with garden posts and one or two more life updates. Hope that you are all doing well!