Friday, December 31, 2010

A Letter to 2010

We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day. ~Edith Lovejoy Pierce

It's a little distracting to write this evening, but I felt like I ought to bid 2010 adieu in proper blogger form. Oh... what a year it has been! And boy did it fly by so quickly. Lots of changes, new experiences, intrapersonal growth, interpersonal discoveries, new understandings of God's Word, challenges, goodbyes, victories, and all sorts of fun.

I'm going to write a little letter to this year-- yes it isn't a person, nor a tangible thing.. but sometimes personalization is good. It's the grown up form of "pretend." :) Tonight its purpose is not only just for the heck of it but also as a way to create closure and allow for a fresh beginning...
Two thousand and ten, my friend, you've been alright. You could have been better but I won't complain-- I enjoyed all your seasons... the crisp cool Winter months, the beautiful Spring flowers, delightful warm Summer days, and the vivid Fall colors... yes you were a pretty one.
I loved those days of being immersed in the nature. I thoroughly enjoyed running through the rain, feeling the sun beat on my back, and breathing it all in. I loved those quiet moments of being outside. Just me, God and His perfect creation. Two thousand and ten, you had some wondrous quiet moments.
When possible, I also loved taking pictures of your colors. God made you a beauty. No doubt about that!
Yes, you were good yet I think you were truly the epitome of "tough love." The lessons I learned through you were not always pleasant but they surely had their benefits. As we circled around the earth, one day at a time, I gradually found my voice and finally discovered more of my individuality. Fighting through the battles of anxiety... I made it. A breakthrough that seemed so impossible years ago. It's been a long journey, through many ups and downs, but I finally made it... without drugs or superficial forms of help... I conquered that part of myself naturally and through many many hours of hard work. Sweet victory. Only by God's grace was I ever able to get this far-- He allowed me to never give up.

Because of that, I can finally stand on my own two feet.

Two thousand and ten, you were an ironic one at that. In your year, I witnessed one of my dearest role models recover from falling twice. She refused to give up though the road to being strong again seemed so out of reach. It would have been easy to let go of the strings of life, but she didn't. Though she couldn't physically stand on her two feet, her spirit could. God gave her the strength she needed to keep moving on. I am so grateful.

Dearest two thousand and ten, you taught me a lot in so many areas of life... and you also had some good changes. I discovered the joys of networking and substituting. I was surprised with how much I liked substituting. I loved how it helped me smooth the rough edges in my teaching. Not only that but I realized from substituting how much I am meant for teaching-- that's what I'm meant to do.

In addition, this year I finally chose a grad school and started it in August. That same month I unexpectedly got a part-time job at a lovely little store... all from walking in with my mom and saying "it must be fun to work here!" This retail job couldn't have come at a better time-- I was so worried and stressed at that point. I thought the springs were going to dry up, but thankfully, God did not allow them to. Instead they were filled to more than what I needed. Everything was okay and peaceful...

Oh year, you were something. You really were. You had great big moments and wonderful little ones as well. For all those times, good and bad... and somewhere in between, I am so blessed. I'm thankful for the sadness, anger, laughter, tears, cheers, and all the other emotions I experienced. Sometimes exhausting and sometimes uplifting. It was all worth it.

A favorite time of the year was without a doubt the football season. I will never forget the feeling of winning over the tyrant, the Crusaders. What a wonderfully perfect night. The victory was amazing but what I will remember the most was the oneness with the team and the supporting crowd. We were one- it didn't matter who was there, as long as they were there to cheer on the Warriors. And at the end we all met on the field where the win happened. All of us together.

The sentiment was the same at the best game ever, the state championship game: the Warriors versus the Timberwolves. I didn't care who I sat next to-- it didn't matter...the only thing that did matter was that I was sitting next to a fellow Warrior fan. We were all in that game together-- a true community. Particularly in that game, I won't forget how focused the team was and the crowd's enthusiasm. I knew from the moment I got to my seat that we could totally win. And from the first play I could sense it: focus. We weren't going to lose to the Wolves twice... no, this was our title.. This was our time. And so it was. I would go back to that day any day.

The only thing is if I went back to that day I would have to experience the feeling of bittersweet. One part of that day I won't forget is the sweetness and sadness. The state game was the last game for the senior football players. Such a grand way to leave the season-- a mark that will be forever in the school's history. However, it is also the end of a glorious era.. those boys will never play together again. All those years, from youth football to then... all those years of being together are over. Bittersweet. If I had to go back to that day, which I would, I would have to feel that little ache in my heart for all those boys. I know that bittersweet feeling all too well... the happiness of accomplishment and the pain of it being all over....

Oh, two thousand and ten, it is good to look back on all that we've experienced together.

I'm so glad for the times with my family and friends. For the random people that have crossed through my life. For that hand I held. For all those hugs and smiles throughout the year. For all those firsts and lasts...

Two thousand and ten, I know I could write about you for quite awhile. After all, we've been through 365 days... Twelve months. January 1st to December 31st. We are coming to an end. Only a few more hours left.

From sunrise to sunset, you were good.

Now to move on and to prepare the way for a brand new year. My new friend, Two thousand and eleven.

Thank you again, two thousand and ten for all that you taught me. I've learned lessons in humility, patience, and perseverance. I will never forget you and will carry your memories in my heart.
Welcome two thousand and eleven, welcome... I am ready to start fresh.
Blessings to all of you. I pray that this New Year brings you joyful times and strength in the difficult ones. :) Cheers!

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