Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Breaking the Silence with Life Updates

There's been a good reason for my silence on here for the past few weeks. I've had to make some challenging decisions and have had some interesting experiences as a result. There's still quite a bit of thoughts swirling in my mind, but I feel relieved in many ways too. With discretion, I will try to explain what has happened. I am just going to bullet point things because a list will keep my thoughts more concise. I apologize for this being a little choppy but it is what it is ;-)
  • Approximately two weeks ago, my boyfriend, B (Brian) found out that his mom has stage 4 pancreatic and liver cancer. She was given 4-6 months to live and several treatment options. His family is from Spokane so that meant a long drive for us and that I would be gone from home for a weekend. It's a long story but it meant that I had to confront my mother and tell her of my plans. Prior to this she had not met B (as I say long story) but I was honest in my feelings about needing to go with him, and was very upset about everything. Amazingly enough, communication with my mom was not shut off and she seemed understanding of why I had to go. 
  • Guess this is Part II? B and I went to Spokane on the 1st and returned on the 3rd. We arrived late to his brother and sister-in-laws house Friday evening, and then had a very busy Saturday. 
  • Saturday looked like this: Breakfast with his dad and his dad's lady friend, afternoon with his mom, then met a family that are his friends, and then had dinner with a lovely couple, then.... the evening ended with daiquiris on his brother & sister-in-laws' deck. Let me tell you, I was exhausted!
  • I'm so thankful I had the opportunity to meet his mom -- she is an extraordinary woman and I have so much respect for her. God willing, I will see her again soon. We're planning to go back in a few weeks.
  • On Sunday we had dinner with his brother, SIL and dad then left town by 8AM. The drive home seemed much faster than going. Roadtrips are that way though, you have more anticipation to the place you haven't gone before. I thoroughly enjoyed myself - my family and I have done several big trips so being the car for a long time didn't bother me. I liked being with him and seeing a change of scenery.
  • My sister and brother-in-law also came home that weekend and I was worried that I wouldn't see them. Thankfully B and I got back early enough on Sunday and I got spend time with them. It was also my BIL's birthday so that was fun to celebrate.
  • Going to Spokane was incredibly beneficial to my relationship with B. I would say it was a turning point for us. I feel much more connected to B and see him in context now. He has a great family and I am excited to get to know them better.
  • Making this choice to do what I felt was right -- going on the trip -- was a big step for me and it positively helped my relationship with my mother as well.  I felt empowered for making that choice and I feel like there is a healthy distance with my mom now. Perhaps it just took her a long time to digest my independence. All I know is that FINALLY I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. Hip hip hooray!
Which has led to the most recent glorious event in my life....
  • On Sunday, after planting our garden (I will write a special post on that!), Mom and I met up with B at Mongolian Grill. They FINALLY met! Overall, the conversation was good and Mom seemed pleased. B was also awesome in paying for dinner so that earned him some golden stars ;-) I am SO relieved that they have met and that these "walls" have come down. I feel like I can celebrate my relationship and really make B apart of my life. Such a good feeling... and I can repeat: FINALLY!

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