"Rushing and racing and running in circles, Moving so fast I'm forgetting my purpose, Blur of the traffic is sending me spinning, Getting nowhere..." --Emmy Rossum, "Slow Me Down"
I will admit that this month has been a huge challenge in doing that thing called balance. I'm no where near stressed like I was last year with student teaching full time (AND that blasted work sample)... but I am definitely too busy. I feel so incredibly blessed to have been able to get lots of hours this month-- it has given me lots of time to learn the job and also to make money. In the first two weeks of this month I worked 49.5 hrs and in these last two weeks I'm scheduled for 39 hours. Yes, I chose to take those extra shifts but it was also needed as we have been short 3 employees. Sooo yeah...
Adding all of that into the mix with my two classes has been interesting. I have been able to get my school work done in a timely fashion but I feel like my social life is lacking a little bit. Right now, I feel it is very important for me to be around my friends (that includes some family members too!). I have several really solid friends and they have been such a blessing. I can hardly put into words how thankful I am for all of them. They have helped me to find my voice again and to stand firmly in what I believe. Some of these friends are here and some are far away... wherever they are, they have touched me so deeply. Some I talk to almost daily and some I know that they are there (like that quote about stars in the daytime) even when I don't talk to them for periods of time. Thank You, thank You, thank You God for these amazing people in my life.
These friends are also what keeps me sane and they help my brain to slow down a little! And when life gets a little chaotic and stormy, I know that I am not alone. And as for the good parts of life, like those Godly stirrings-- it's exciting to share those times with friends. There's just a mixture of things going on right now to say the least.
Funny how so many of my posts lead back to my friendships. I sincerely hope that next month is a little more balanced. I think it will be-- I have requested days off and some new people are getting hired (YAY!). So... yes, it shall be okay.
Ha, love how my post was flowing and now I'm sort of stopping and conversing. Honestly though, this is a good reflection of my thought process these days. I have been so spacey-- feel like it all has been a blur lately. I don't like that at all. Wish I could've explained myself better yesterday. It was sort of a positive and negative post. It just feels weird right now to have good things going on within me while at the same time things around me are going a little haywire. I haven't felt this way before. I'm thankful that I do though. This personal strength is helping me to deal with what is around me-- I praise God for it too. I honestly didn't think I would get to this point. I hope and pray I never lose it either.
Ok- also, I do want to clarify too that what is going around me is certainly not the worst thing that could happen to me. I hope I don't sound like I am having the worst problem in the world. I seriously have a fear being misunderstood-- I know for a fact that someone in this world is going through something far worse than I will ever experience in my lifetime. So, yeah.. I feel better saying that. I know, I know, I know that life isn't about me. I hope I never sound like I am not humble.
I think I will end this post here tonight rather than confuse you even more. I plan on writing an actual update soon since it has been awhile since I have done that! With all that said, good night world... Sweet dreams.